umberto the funny one at poncowinatan

Sisi Mewek (Crying Sisi. Sisi is a girl's name in Indonesian). It's actually a guy. A real heterosexual man who goes by the handle of xixviiimcmlxxv at yahoo! messenger. I call him "Sisi Mewek" only because properly pronouncing his name twisted my tongue.

This guy is a pack of fun. Graphic design, literature and girls are his domain. Our first communication was through a chatting window in a very popular chatting software back in mid 90s called "mIRC". Our first in real life (IRL) meeting was on an empty desk in some godforsaken cybercafe tucked deep into the jungle of Gajah Mada University in Central Java. He was sleeping on the desk and I was observing the desk. That was 1998. Now is 2005.

From time to time, whenever we have the chance, we will hail each other and strike up conversations. Subjects may differ. Mostly books, what's hype and what's not in town, graphic design, web design, et cetera. In fact, I learned the logic and principle of web design from this toothpick-thin guy. Well, a part from that, his girls will be everywhere in the conversation.

Talking to Sisi Mewek is like watching American Sitcom. It's "Sex and the City", "Friends", "3rd Rock from the Sun", "The Nanny", "Alf" and "The Jeffersons" all rolled into one. He's hillarious.

This time, he hailed me at my yahoo! messenger. He wanted me to tell him a story. "Anything. Give me any story." And I said no, as I was editing an article for the company web site. He went back up afterhour. "Tell me a story. Anything. Kancil nyolong PDA*?" (A mouse deer who steals a Personal Digital Assistant). Then he rambled about "Blonde Redhead" and "Portishead" and "Interpol". Bands. Music. He cursed me for listening to "Rammstein". Oh well, I guess I'm that old.

I told him I'm going "haruking" now. Taking up Haruki Murakami. Something absurd. Above reality. Weird. Mesmerizing. Like chewing the finest chocolate one bit to another.

"Seems like Eco." I've heard of Umberto Eco, but never read his work. Sisi Mewek said Eco is interesting. A bit hyperrealistic as well. "I've read his work. 'How to travel with smoked salmon' that is." He continued. I asked him whether Eco is a man of 21st century since I'm so not into classic men such as Shakespeare. I have a hard time imagining anything before the era of the Internet. "Hm, there might be two Ecos. But Umberto is the funny one." He said he read it at a friend's house. Well, his best best friend actually. This well-read gay guy at Poncowinatan Street, a residential area in downtown Yogyakarta, the cultural city of Central Java.

"Whose book that you read?" As far as I'm concerned, this guy can't afford a book and will never buy one if it's available for free on the net. Well, there are those free E-book these days.

"I don't know. It was just lying around so I grabbed and have fun with it." Then he added, "Hm, I think it belongs to Alia. Alia Swastika. Ever heard that name?" Pretty strange name.

"What's her relations to Hitler?" Sisi Mewek laughed out loud.

Alia Swastika is the editor of "Kunci Cultural Studies". Then he went on about this Alia girl is the friend of Nuning, again a girl's name. Nuning Juliastuti.

"Who? Your significant other?" He denied that verdict.

"Antariksa and her are the founders of Kunci."

I went into gossiping mode, "They were couple, weren't they?"

"Was."

"Oh well, college memory. Tastes good. Feels good. When you're about to swallow it, it's so poisoning.."** Then both of us switched into gossiping mode. I was wondering what happened to the Antariksa guy. Antariksa actually means "Outer Space". "Where did he go? He was finally aware of his fate and leave Princessa Nuning on Earth?"

"Of course not. They are still at "Kunci"." Literally, "kunci" means "key" or "lock".

So I asked him, "Who locked them up?"

"The janitor?" He went on about them getting scholarship out of the country. "At Poncowinatan." He was referring to his gay best friend's place.

"Nuning wasted her knowledge there?"

"A lot of people stopped by over there. Hey, 'meet me at the ponc' is the buzz word in Yogya these days." He said proudly.

"Ponc?" My eyes wide opened. "It doesn't sound right. Not 'slurut' enough."

"Slurut?"

"Well, slurut is this feeling you get when you're letting your tongue swim into your significant other's throat."

"WHUD?"

And we found a new word between us. And had a good laughs again. That's Sisi Mewek. His name is actually Dewa Widyakumara. Well, I got rid of this two middle names.


*"Kancil nyolong PDA" is in Javanese, a widely spoken language of Java ethnics in Indonesia. Kancil means "mouse deer" in English. In Indonesian children folklore, mouse deer is often portrayed as thief. The most famous story is about a mouse deer who steals cucumber harvest of a farmer.

**The Indonesian version of this sentence is: "Enak dikecap. Enak dikunyah. Pas mau ditelan.. lho kok ngeracunin?"